You’re awesome. You’re perfect the way you are. You’re amazing.
You’re making excuses.
Self praise is powerful. Not always in a good way, though. In my opinion, self praise can be more harmful than it is helpful. When things don’t go according to plan, or turn out for the best, we turn to self praise. It’s okay because I did my best. I’m still amazing. In turn, we forget about the power of our choices and self responsibility.
Que the difference between self love and self respect. When we constantly shower ourselves with love, it’s easy to make excuses for ourselves. We allow mistakes without considering how to grow, how to create change. We make it okay because we love ourselves.
On the other hand, when we respect ourselves, we reflect on the choices we’ve made that brought us to the current situation. Take, for example, going on a run. The first approach: I go on a run and it destroys me. I’m short of breath, I feel exhausted, I’m having to push myself beyond what I’d expect. So, I slow down or shorten up the mileage. I think it’s okay, everyone has their off days. Better luck next week! The second approach: How was my nutrition this week? Have I hydrated properly? Have I given my body proper rest and sleep? What choices did I make prior to the run? What changes can I make?
This concept can apply to any and everything. I practiced a lot of self love during my first year of teaching, yet had very little self respect. I let work consume me. I made the choices that led to putting work first, my students first, and I was always, always last. I was proud of my work and my efforts. However, days quickly turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. The year flew by. When I actually took a second to look back and reflect, I was scared. I lived 10 months consumed by my job. Little to no time was set aside for myself, for my friends, for my family. I was constantly exhausted and stressed. I refused to live another year like this…let alone the next ten.
This was when my self respect journey began. I started to reflect on what I wanted. What choices I would make. It did’t come easily. Like everything else, it took practice. Now, reflecting on my choices is second nature. I also take the time to consider where my choices will lead me before making them. I can’t control what happens to me, but I can always control my reaction and where I go from there.
The choices I make are a reflection of the respect I have built for myself. My self respect has grown into an awareness of the life I’ve created for myself.
So, before you take the next opportunity you have to praise yourself, reflect on the choices you’ve made that led to this point. What changes can you make? How can and how will you grow?
Ohm & Split Pea 